The Ultimate Orgy Attendee Guide

Part 1: A Submissive's Sex Party Survival Kit

Disclaimer: I, Pandora, am a packing freak and former Girl Scout. Not everyone packs or preps for parties like this, I just enjoy being excessively prepared. Even I don’t always bring everything listed, but I wanted to be comprehensive to allow maximum opportunity for inspiration. Also, not all subs are girls, but this guide will be more relevant for other subby ladies.

Deciding what to wear can be the hardest part of getting packed, but we’ll get to that later.

From Hitachi to hair ties, a Good Girl™ is always prepared. This is mostly a list of what I bring to Red Means No orgies or the similar parties I help host. Where relevant, I made some notes about how these parties differ from other sex parties I’ve attended. I attend as a “prey” or submissive, so my list looks pretty different from the tops, but stay tuned for part 2 in this series, where we will discuss how you can be a scarily well-prepared predator.

Essentials + documentation

• Wallet

• Identification

• Keys

• Phone + charger

• COVID vaccination proof + negative test results

• Recent negative STI panel

• Sex doc or notes

Many parties will ask to see your ID at check in. Some may ask to see proof of COVID vaccination or negative COVID test results in advance of the party. At RMN and at our parties, we require STI results submitted to the organizers prior to the event, so this isn’t something I have to actually worry about the day of the party. However, at most other parties you should know your status and be prepared to discuss the date and results of recent testing with potential partners. Most parties will require phones to be left in bags, so it’s best to memorize or print out any information you may need during the party. If there’s an opportunity, I usually share my sex doc in advance with other attendees, so the tops know what I like (and don’t like). I know many tops at RMNs make a condensed version of key notes to help them memorize some of the most essential information about boundaries and desires.

Sex toys + kink supplies

• Hitachi + charger (both labelled)

• Blindfold

• Whiteout contacts + case + contact solution

I tend to be in prey mode at RMN parties. Therefore, I only bring some essentials. I always bring my Hitachi (fully charged). These all look the same and therefore it's helpful to label yours to avoid confusion (I once lost a Hitachi at a party, very sad!). This is probably less of an issue at regular sex parties, which are less chaotic than RMN parties. I love sensory deprivation, so I tend to bring a backup blindfold. I also was given whiteout contacts by a RMN predator at a past party, so I now bring these to parties for an extra level of sensory deprivation. Of course, not everyone is into this, so the broader principle here is to bring those specialized sex toys that are specific to your kinks, but that might not be already supplied by the tops.

Wardrobe

• Costume

• Lingerie for under costume (e.g. bodysuit, bra, panties, garter belt, stockings)

• Collar + cuffs

• Orgy robe

• Sweats & fresh underwear

I pack these all into 4 or 5 small packing cubes or pouches inside of a larger duffel bag, for easy access. I start thinking about the theme at least a few days in advance so that I have time to put together a relevant look. I often find costume pieces at thrift stores or repurpose items in my closet. I tend to not put a ton of effort into my look, since they are typically torn off pretty quickly, however it’s fun to be on theme.

The wristbands are provided! But I like to bring my own Hitachi as a good sex robot.

Some parties don’t have themes, and then I just go for looking sexy, by combining lingerie and skimpy/sheer clothing in various ways. I may also wear lingerie or a choker/collar and wrist cuffs, if they are relevant to complete the look. I also have another strappy harness piece that can be fun, but it can also be a bit complicated to get into (but you will probably be able to find helping hands at a party). I once saw a girl who wore a ball gag like a necklace, which was brilliant. If you have a partner who is good at rope, a rope harness can also be a good sex party look.

My partner bought me this robe from KIM+ONO which I break out at the end of most orgies (not an affiliate link or anything, I just really like it).

I like to bring a satin robe to put this on at the end of the night when we are transitioning to closing circle time. The robe isn’t critical, many people remain naked until cleanup. Lastly, I try to remember to either wear comfy clothes in the first place that I can change back into, or pack sweats (and fresh underwear) for the drive home. I have also seen others bring onesies for this purpose!

Makeup bag

• Mascara

• Eyeshadow

• Brow gel

• Blush

• Lip gloss

• Concealer

• Lash curler

• Tweezers

• Glitter

• Temporary tattoos + clean sponge

Sometimes I wear minimal makeup, sometimes I wear no makeup (like when I forget to pack my whole makeup bag). I never wear foundation. I don’t have a ton of thoughts on makeup, other than thinking the activity of getting ready with other prey is a pretty fun ritual. Adding on extras like glitter or temporary tattoos (if on theme) can also be fun. I don’t expect my makeup to stay in place, I expect for it to look fucked up by midway through the party, that is part of the fun.

Toiletries bag

• Hairbrush + hair ties

• Deodorant

• Shampoo + conditioner

• Razor

• Wide tooth comb

• Toothbrush + toothpaste + floss

• Nail file + nail clippers + cuticle nippers

• Cleanser + makeup remover wipes

• Moisturizer + sunscreen

• Lip balm

• Tissues

• Prescriptions (e.g. birth control pills)

• Sleep mask + ear plugs/noise cancelling headphones

My “ho bag” is always packed and ready, so it’s easy to just throw this in a larger duffle bag and go. I don’t tend to use all of these items, but I am including here a list of everything I need to comfortably spend the night at a partner’s place, in case I sleep over the night before or after a party. I’m a weirdo who likes to sleep with noise cancelation, so I actually often bring my Airpods in place of ear plugs. It’s also nice to have any meds I might need the following morning, such as my usual birth control pills. Hygiene is quite important prior to sex parties. I shower the morning of, apply deodorant, and make sure my nails aren’t too long and are clean, in case I end up fingering someone. I like to brush my teeth shortly before the party begins. Hair braids are always an important way to complete my sex party look, especially at RMN, where these save me from extensive detangling. Often another prey or one of the predators will braid my hair for me during setup or the opening circle, which is a great pre-party ritual.

Vagina + period care

• Boric acid suppositories (insert vaginally after orgy if prone to yeast infections)

• Sea sponges (if on period)

• Tampons + liners + disc (period backup)

If you are a vagina owner and prone to yeast infections, it’s a good idea to take proactive measures after a sex party, since sex parties can be triggering for a lot of us. I’ve found boric acid suppositories can help. It’s okay to attend most sex parties while on your period, just come prepared. I tend to use soft sea sponges like they are tampons. I avoid rougher ones, which I’ve noticed seem capable of breaking condoms. Here are the type of sponges I order. I tend to wash and replace these a couple times over the course of an evening to minimize the blood accumulation. The main downside is you might need help pulling the sponge out at the end of the night, if you get pounded too hard. Your partners may or may not even notice the sponge. I also pack backup sanitary products like liners, tampons, and a period disc for before or after the party.

Emergency + medical

• Mini sewing kit

• Safety pins

• Bandaids

• Painkillers

• COVID tests

• Valtrex

I like to pack some basic sewing supplies and safety pins in case of any last minute wardrobe malfunctions. I also like to have basic first aid supplies, even though most hosts should have a first aid kit. I just like to be able to take a Tylenol or put on a bandaid without needing to track anyone down. I’m putting COVID tests on this again, because sometimes I test at the venue, but it’s an easy one to forget. I also bring extra Valtrex, since sometimes people have asked for some (our parties require people who are HSV 1 or 2 positive to take Valtrex for 5 days up to and including the party).

If there’s a sauna/hot tub

• Towel

• Flip flops

If your hosts mentioned a sauna or hot tub it’s a good idea to bring your own towel in case towels are hard to find or in short supply.

Energy/hydration backup

• Water bottle

• Nuts or protein bars

• Chocolate (often part of my aftercare routine, or good way to make friends)

• Snack to share

Most sex parties have excellent food spreads, so this is more optional, but I think it’s a good practice to have a reusable water bottle and a protein bar with me wherever I go. I also sometimes bring some bonus chocolate, which I can whip out to share as collective aftercare following certain scenes. Even though there is almost always food provided, it can vary, and it can be nice to have a special treat to supplement what the hosts have selected. I also sometimes bring snacks or drinks to share with the whole party. For past events, I’ve sometimes baked cake or brownies. I don’t do this every time, but if I have capacity, it’s a nice extra touch.

Set-up Supplies

• Laptop + charger

• Scissors + Tape

• Sharpie + pen

If I’m helping with set up, I tend to bring my laptop (in case I need to check people in at the door, etc.). I also might bring some basic backup supplies like scissors, tape, pens, and Sharpies, though whoever is hosting should also have those supplies. There’s a much longer list of supplies and considerations if I am in charge of hosting the party. But that may have to be a subject for a different post.

What’s not in my bag

• Apple watch (some people like having data from parties, I don’t like having any trackers in the way)

• Fancy shoes (some people will wear heels as part of costumes, I typically wear comfy slip on shoes and then go barefoot once inside)

Sex toys that haven’t made the cut to bring to most parties.

• Extra sex toys (as a sub, I mainly rely on the preparation of the tops, and so I only pack true essentials or things that can’t be shared)

• Jewelry (I love to wear jewelry most days, but I remove all jewelry and piercings prior to play parties, to avoid snagging or losing things, with exceptions for chokers)

• Hair accessories (usually I avoid having hair accessories as part of costumes, since these can be uncomfortable and get lost, and stick to my trusty braids)

• Chesed (although she can fit in duffle bags for easy transport, she arrives to most parties outside of one)

Stay tuned for part 2, where some of the most prepared tops I know share their packing lists and prep strategies. If you thought I had a long packing list… buckle up.

Got questions/comments? Comment below or email askthesluts@gmail.com. Thanks!