How to make your room less repellent to women
The slut starter pack
The “ick” is the subject of much debate and discourse. After many years of encountering men (and often but not always sleeping with them), I would describe the ick as when the unconscious and continuous attraction tally in my head goes negative. He’s handsome? +1 point. I’m ovulating? + 10 points. He gets me a drink? +5 points. He’s wearing dorky shoes? -1 point. He touches me confidently? +10 points. To be clear, this tallying is unconscious. I don’t sit through dates silently judging men’s every characteristic and action. However, when I reflect on my more erratic behavior (e.g., running out of a man’s room midway through fingering, having sex with a man I wasn’t planning to, avoiding an end of date kiss from a man I thought I liked), I can often identify a moment in which my attraction suddenly bloomed or shriveled. Even tiny moments can be the difference between a negative or positive tally.
The purpose of this post is to help you avoid giving women the ick at a crucial moment - when they have just arrived at your place. At this point, they are probably attracted to you (unless you have lured them there with the promise of coworking, drugs, or a cat. Then you can’t be sure. In another post I will cover how to ask women to have sex with you politely). All you have to do is not fuck it up.
The basics: Avoid giving her the ick
To begin, I have a few basic recommendations to make your accommodations lady-friendly. To be clear, you absolutely can get laid without doing any of the following if you are very attractive in other ways. Charismatic men who live in treehouses or boats or vans get laid all the time. If this is you then you can probably stop reading the post now. However, there’s no reason for most men to play on hard mode (and if you want to play on hard mode, it would probably be more entertaining to do this by disagreeing with her political beliefs or something).
Absolute basics:
Have a private room with a door and a bed. You get points for the more bed-like the bed is. Bed with a mattress and bed frame > mattress on the floor > futon on the floor>inflatable mattress/stacked cushions/nest on the floor.
Have sheets and blankets on the bed.
Have access to a bathroom. I once fucked a guy in his “maker space” which was actually a garage near Lake Merritt. This was charming until I wanted to pee and he informed me the nearest bathroom was in Whole Foods.
Condoms and lube. Obviously.
I’d also like to recommend a simple pre-date checklist. You’ll want to complete this anytime you think you might bring a girl home, not just before a formal date. You might as well be optimistic and go through the checklist before any party, religious service, or rationalist meet-up.
Pre-date checklist:
Change the sheets on your bed. You can technically get away with using your current sheets if you have changed them in the last 5 days, they smell nice, have no crumbs or stains, and you haven’t had sex with anyone else on them. On the other hand, the girl is almost certainly going to have higher standards of cleanliness than you and you are safest just changing the sheets.
Ensure you have at least two normal pillows on your bed with pillowcases (ideally these should match your sheets). Do not make her sleep on a throw pillow.
Consider your blankets/bed coverings. You do not need to wash these as long as they smell nice and have no visible crumbs/stains/lady juices. There should be enough blankets to make a naked lady feel warm and cozy.
Tidy your room. To begin, put clothes in a laundry hamper or out of sight in the closet. Throw away trash and recycling. Remove any dirty dishes from your room. If you have a lot of random shit in your room and you’re not sure what to do with it, consider stacking it or putting it in a basket.
Vacuum the room the morning of the date (not right before the date, because dust can remain in the air for a while). You can get away with skipping this if you’ve vacuumed recently (like within the last week) and you don’t have a pet.
Be attentive to temperature. Women often run colder than men, and the colder she is, the less likely she is to lounge naked. Consider bringing out a space heater.
Have something in your room to wipe up semen. A clean t-shirt or a towel is ok in a pinch, but wet wipes or a washcloth with warm water are ideal.
Tidy the bathroom. Put the seat down and clean anything that might seem gross (e.g., pubic or beard hair, visible poop in toilet or pee around toilet, take out trash if it’s full or smells yucky, wipe up toothpaste residue).
Stock the bathroom. Ensure there is adequate toilet paper, soap, and ideally a clean towel to dry hands. You should also have a spare clean bath towel if she might need a shower. While we’re on the subject of bathrooms, you should trim your nails, pubes, and beard on the day before the date to avoid scratchiness.
Be able to provide hydration. Ladies love bubbly water, but a Brita in the fridge and clean glasses will also do. There should not be mold in the Brita! I strongly suggest being able to offer bubbly water and tea at night and coffee in the morning, but these are not mandatory.
Bonus points: Make a bitch go on and on
For the advanced practitioner, there are bonus flourishes you can provide to make women feel extra cared for.
Safe for all:
Stock up on nice beverages and treats. Be able to offer a non-alcoholic or alcoholic beverage. Women generally like wine or cocktails more than beer, so consider a bottle of wine or canned rose or cocktails. For non-alcoholic options, consider sparkling water, kombucha, fancy sodas, and tea. As noted above, be able to offer coffee in the morning, either by having a coffee-making apparatus, canned cold brew, or a nearby coffee shop. For treats, consider chocolate, protein bars, berries, and cheese and crackers. Taking her out for breakfast or ordering breakfast and serving it in bed are both extra special ways to make a lady feel cherished. Ask about her dietary restrictions as you are planning the date.
Create a vibe with music. Requires decent speakers and a good playlist.
Improve your lighting. A warmer color looks more sexy. Women also like dim lights, which can be achieved using a dimmer or lighting a candle or small lamp while the main lights are off (battery-operated candles work well for this and you’re less likely to accidentally stick your foot in fire while fucking). One of my partners has a red light, which I like very much for sex.
Upgrade your linens! Cotton is a great choice. Jersey is soft but can get pill-y. Avoid microfiber or sweaty synthetic fabrics.
Decorate your room. Men’s rooms often have bare walls, while women often hang art, tapestries, and photos. Ask a female friend for help. Consider displaying books or other items which showcase your personality.
Make your space extra cozy. Depending on what you have available, this could include lighting a fire in the fireplace, acquiring extra fuzzy blankets, or slipping a hot water bottle in your bed.
Keep basic first aid supplies (band-aids, ibuprofen/acetaminophen) at your house. A headache doesn’t necessarily end the evening if you can treat it!
Have comfy clothes for a lady to wear if she sleeps over. These should be your clothes, not women’s clothes. Good options include a large clean t-shirt, sweatshirt and boxers. The fact that they are too big is part of the charm. Bonus points for providing her with a sweater or jacket to wear when you walk her to the car (and yes, you should walk her to her car or other means of transportation at the end of the date).
Massage oil. Bonus points if you learn some basics or take a course but I’ve never complained about a free massage. Lavender and vanilla are both popular calming scents.
Make you seem a bit ran-through, only safe if you are dating sluts like us:
Have extra toiletries in your bathroom. The most important are toothpaste and an unused (new) toothbrush. Others to consider in rough order of relevance are tampons/pads, makeup remover and/or face wash, a comb or brush, dry shampoo, and moisturizer.
For long haired ladies like us, a wide tooth shower comb, conditioner, and hair ties are great to have. Bonus points if you learn to braid hair and incorporate this into foreplay in order to save us from detangling later.
Acquire some basic sex toys. I strongly suggest starting with a Magic Wand. You will want to clean this between partners, and many people feel most comfortable if you cover it with a condom to ensure they are not sharing juices with your last girl. You can stop there and be well-equipped, but here are a few other ideas:
Other vibrators (would prioritize those meant to provide clitoral stimulation)
Blindfold
Velcro cuffs or bondage tape (also have body-safe shears available)
Tools for sensation play: Candle (should be one specifically for wax play), Wartenberg wheel, flogger
Have comfy clothes for ladies to sleep in - or for you to destroy. My partner who does this uses Amazon basics and cuts the seams a bit beforehand to ensure they are easy to rip off.
I hope this advice is helpful as you navigate the ick-minefield of dating. Anything you would add? Disagree? Share in the comments or in our private subscriber Discord!
As my husband once said to a single friend: “If you want a woman to sleep with you, have a clean bedroom. If you want her to sleep with you again, have a clean bathroom.”
People who follow this guide should get extra points in Aella’s SMV quiz 🤣